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My Xmas Reader ListPOSTED BY LUCY VEE OVER AT Write Here, Write Now.
...A satirical gift from me, to you. Following in the footsteps of Dear Writer, here's my look at the "other side" - the different types of Reader and how they can interact with you, the writer. How many have you come across?!
1. First, The Vitriolic Reader. Also known as the "You Suck!", "I'm better than my job but stuck in a rut", "I don't get paid enough for this" and "If I read another 'body swap' script in the style of BIG or FREAKY FRIDAY I will go insane" Reader. Haven't we ALL come across one of these?? 'Nuff sed.
2. The "I've decided what your script is about even though it's not" Reader. Yes, our screenplays might SEEM to be a rip off of something else, but is it so mad to think it might be a homage, or an influence? And who says it HAS to play out the way you say it does? This Reader type often indulges in a spot of number 3, too.
3. The "Teaching your grandmother to suck eggs" Reader. Yes, I've heard of structure before, believe it or not. Yes, the many different types. And what's that? Characterisation? What a novel idea. Any chance you may not have seen what I was doing with the story here? No? Okay, it's obviously me...
4. "The I'm right and you're wrong" Reader. Yes, I must read Joseph Campbell. And Syd Field. And Linda Seger. And everybody in the world who's even written a jot about screenwriting before I'm allowed to argue with you. Sir! (Or Madam - I'm always up for Equal Opps here.)
5. The Format Nazi. What, I had TWO bits of dialogue directly under each other by the same character? There were blank elements?? I even made the margins of Final Draft longer than they were supposed to be to get more in??? OH MY GOD! A thousand hail Marys and self flagellation until next Tuesday!
6. "The Why Haven't You...?" Reader. Primarily short for "Why haven't you set this up?" (when you have), though can also take into account "Why haven't you done this or that with this character, this arena, this whatever." In essence: why haven't you written a better script!!!
7. "The Politically Correct" Reader. A rightRoyal pain in the arse, this reader will want you to cut absolutely every swear word ("But it's a horror/gangster/thriller!"), every sex scene (WTF??) and every moment where people don't act as if they're straight out of Care Bears: The Movie.
8. The Encouraging Reader. This one is a real wolf in sheep's clothing, since they'll encourage you knowing you haven't a hope in hell of ever getting off the ground. For shame!
9. The "You Cannot Be Serious!" Reader. This state of mind describes the Readers who try as hard as they can to find the merit of various pieces, eventually have to pass on them, only to watch, agog, as their respective agent or producer bosses option said scripts anyway. They usually become number 1.
And my personal fave:
10. The "Follow The Rules Or Die Like The Dog You Are" Reader. They open scripts, shut them again. Not enough white on the page. Too much/little dialogue. Page count's over...Whatever. Phew. Hard day at the office.
Have I missed any?! Let us know your reading horror stories...
//Lucy Vee
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Categories: [general_] [industry_]Labels: general, industry, Write Here Write Now
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